Reality Check

I am a small person of consequence. I am not a celebrity or elected official. I hold no office or position of power. I have never met the President nor stood in the presence of royalty. I do not vacation with the jet set. I am not a famous author. I claim no vocational accolades nor distinctions. I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend… child of God (and sometimes a poor one, at that). You’d be surprised how often I rely on this reality to keep me grounded. It quiets my soul in an unexpected way. 

I have been meditating on Psalm 131 recently. It’s a short, simple psalm in length and language. Its verses draw me into its humble sphere, and what relief there is.  Eugene Peterson makes it especially accessible in his earthy way:

“God, I’m not trying to rule the roost, I don’t want to be king of the mountain.
I haven’t meddled where I have no business  or fantasized grandiose plans.
I’ve kept my feet on the ground, I’ve cultivated a quiet heart.
Like a baby content in its mothers arms, my soul is a baby content.
Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope.
Hope now; hope always! [1] 

“My heart is not proud O Lord; my eyes are not haughty.” (NIV) These words help me see myself clearly. I return to them when I feel the sting of rejection, when I feel slighted or ignored. They are my reality check. I am small and often insufficient. I am not the king of the mountain. The world does not revolve around me, as it turns out. But it’s okay. I am a child who is drawn close into the bosom of God to be loved like only God can do. Reality check. I am small, but I am important to God, as a child is to its mother. Here, I can cultivate a quiet heart.   

“I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.” (ESV) With these words, I combat the societal benchmarks that parade in my mind’s eye, luring me to gauge the success or failure of my life by those of others. Reality check. The grandiose plans I formulated for myself somewhere along the line are more like fairytales, made from movie scenes or magazines. They have no real correlation to my life. I do better when I lead the life I have been given today. I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend… child of God. I choose to keep my feet on the ground. Reality check. I am most satisfied when I embrace the sphere in which the Lord has placed me. He will move me and change me in his own time.

I am trying to regain the wisdom of a child. A child innately trusts the parent for food, shelter, clothing, and relationship before ever a demand is made. “I do not occupy myself with great matters.” (NIV) I do not need to know or control the future. Reality check. I don’t have the answers anyway. There’s a lot I don’t understand, and much is a mystery to me. So let my demands subside. Even if I did understand, I am not sure information is the thing that would save me. Only God’s love can do that. And it is embracing us. I can wait for God. I wait with hope.

My heart is not proud, my eyes are not haughty. I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. The radical humility of these verses shows us a new way. In practice, they help us loosen our grip on acceptance, accolades, accessories and even autonomy, as the basis for our worth and value. And in their wake, we find that divine proximity to God’s presence. Like a baby in a mother’s arms, our souls are content.  The psalmist has drawn us into a sweet, serene moment – the intimate, loving embrace of mother and child. It is a quiet scene, where both are at rest and at peace with each other. One has given, and the other has received. There is a deep synergy of contentment and satisfaction on both sides. Activity will soon follow, and work will be done. Our broken, twisted, aggravated, hurting world waits on us. But, for just one moment, can we not just rest and listen to each other breathe. Could God be asking us to wait on everything else, and listen to him? 

Reality check. I am a person of small consequence. Like a child. My voice will not capture the attention of Heads of State. I cannot topple the worldly systems that denigrate others. I cannot stop a war. I am often weak in strength and resolve. I have no political capital to cash in at the most opportune moment. But we have been drawn very near to the heart of God and can experience peace, while the world rages on. If we are paying attention and are willing to embrace this radical stance, we find ourselves very close to, if not engulfed in, the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus says to you and to me: “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3-4, ESV) 

Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend… Child of God. 

Thank you for reading my blog. If you are interested in more reflections on the Psalms, you can purchase my two books on the Psalms: Hand in Hand, Walking with the Psalms through Loneliness (2014) and Pilgrim’s Path, A Study of the Psalms (2021) both available on my website at elizabethheadblack.com.