Love is not irritable.
I Corinthians 13:5
People are prickly. They have sharp edges. Their words and ways can be pointed, needling us to a reaction. Love is not easily provoked.
People are rough and bumpy. They get under our skin. Like a scaly rash blistering beneath the surface, they irritate our smooth exteriors, our calm demeanors. When we scratch the itchy irritation, it becomes inflamed. Love does not get easily agitated.
These are the pictures behind the Greek word Paul uses, paroxunetai. It comes from the root word meaning “to sharpen” but has the sense of provoking or inciting or irritating. Paul tells us that love is not easily provoked to anger. And we remember that God himself is slow to anger, long-suffering and forbearing. So shall his love be.
If we have ever found ourselves quick to lose our temper, to “fly off the handle,”[1] irritable with another, or overly touchy[2], we need to hear these words. We are not at liberty to let another’s actions control our own. Though we think we are justified in our response to unrighteous provocation or incessant aggravation, at any point in which we lose our temper, we have lost control of ourselves. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit[3] and there is no place for fits of anger[4] or irritable moods in the life of the Spirit.
Though anger is a valid emotion, and clearly acknowledged throughout the Bible, it is also a volatile emotion – one to be well-monitored and controlled. Though others may act unjustly – we are cautioned to control our anger. Paul says numerous times throughout his letters, “put it away”.[5] Like a dagger, put it away. Like a drawn sword, put it away. Do not escalate a situation quickly or easily. Love is not easily provoked. Our ability to “put away” our anger, or even an irritable nature, is part of our self-control, supplied by the Spirit, and mastered by much practice.
It is not a question of whether we get angry or not. It is a question of what we do with our anger. Paul says, “In your anger do not sin”. [6] For this, we turn to the Lord to find our resource. We know that God is “slow to anger” and yet there are plenty of references where we find that God was, indeed, provoked to anger,[7] and rightly so. The Lord’s anger is always righteous and justified, whereas ours is not.[8] But it is worthwhile reflecting on how the Lord’s anger was dissipated, or stilled, or stayed. How did he put it away? In Deuteronomy 9, the Lord’s anger against the people is quieted by the intercessory prayer of his mediator, Moses. But even Moses would eventually provoke God to anger because of his disobedience.[9] This little scene buried in the pages of the ancient law foretells the coming of Jesus[10], the perfect mediator, the perfect intercessor, the perfect vessel by which God would pour out and stay his wrath. Jesus is the place where God “put away” his wrath, where his wrath was placed rather than on the people that deserved it. Jesus is the place we are reconciled to God.
We have access to this same mediator. The One who bore wrath also brought forth forgiveness. When we don’t know what to do with our anger, we can give it to Jesus. He is judge and will execute justice perfectly. When we put our anger into the pierced hands of Jesus, we can claim the power of forgiveness. First for ourselves and then for another. It is not ours to avenge, only to forgive as Jesus has taught us to do. Forgiveness defuses a situation that threatens to escalate.
We take great comfort that the Spirit of Jesus is always interceding for us.[11] When angry words rush to our lips, we put them away. When blood rushes to our temples, our jaws clench and our fists curl, we remember the Spirit is not easily provoked, therefore neither are we. We put it away. “Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. … the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for the good.” [12] The Spirit of Jesus who endured the provocation of the cross knows our weaknesses and strengthens us in our time of need.
Let us not be easily provoked. Let us not concede any control of our spirit to any other person, but the Spirit itself. May the Holy Spirit bring the calm, steady peace we need in the midst of strife, as an answer and remedy to strife, in our close circles and in the world around us. Love is not easily provoked.
Jesus, my Strength,
I praise you that you know my weakness.
You know my fussy, agitated, excitable nature, and you forgive me.
You know when I am at the end of my rope.
You know my short temper, my one-sided, selfish perspectives,
and my need to be comfortable and affirmed.
Thank you, Jesus, that you forgive me of my pettish behavior.
Though I have no doubt provoked you in my sometimes-blatant rebellion and my often-willful ignorance, you have still drawn me to your side, and are still willing to work with me.
You never leave me or forsake me!
Praise you, Lord Jesus.
Lord, strengthen me in the face of agitation and provocation.
Increase in me the fruit of the Spirit that I may be
loving and kind, calm, at peace with myself and You,
though others are acting otherwise.
Help me to be patient, always trusting you, that you will make all things right, in due time.
Let my response be good, gentle and controlled.
I thank you and praise you for strength you give me when I am weakest!
In your name I pray,
Amen.
[1] Eugene Peterson, The Message, (Colorado Springs, CO; NAV Press Publishing Group, 2003) p. 353
[2] JB Phillips translation.
[3] Galatians 5:22
[4] Galatians 5:20
[5] Ephesians 4:31
[6] Ephesians 4:26
[7] Deuteronomy 9:7,18,22.
[8] James 1:19-20
[9] Deuteronomy 3:26, 32:51
[10] Deuteronomy 18:15
[11] Hebrews 7:25
[12] Romans 8:26-28