Envy is an ugly and distasteful pattern that creeps into the hearts and minds of anyone that will entertain it. Envy is not particular and will find its host in the poorest and least able or the most accomplished and successful persons. Envy slinks into our mindsets with a critical eye, judging everyone and everything from a perverse angle. When we look upon another’s possessions, their circumstances of life, their perceived happiness and well-being, and pronounce it all better than ours, we are making a judgement – against them, against ourselves, and against God.
Envy assesses the value of the other person based on superficial or material markers. Envy makes judgement on people – do they really measure up to the worth of their happy circumstances. Envy has a mean spirit about it. A heart smothered in envy does not wish another well. In fact, it cannot because it is so competitive by nature, always comparing their own worth to that of someone else, instead of to God. The “endless sizing up” is exhausting and destabilizing. When competition becomes so intense, it can easily become embroiled with hatred and jealousy. Love does not envy another.
An envious heart also makes a judgement against itself. Envy reveals a great insecurity of the soul that concedes it is “less than” another, in some form. It is embittered by a perceived emptiness, a wanting, a lack that can never be filled, because envy is zealous for that space. Nothing is ever enough, or good enough. Envy thrives on the seething emotion that persistently reiterates, “I am not enough, I am not good enough.” In such a state, the soul cannot recognize the unique worth of its own circumstances and the work of God in them. It cannot recognize his value before God. Envy repels the acceptance and love of God. An envious person can never be happy or fulfilled.
Finally, an envious person judges God. She makes an assessment that God has not dealt fairly with her. God has erred, or God has intentionally slighted her, or God is not in control. In her self-centered arrogance, the envious heart judges God’s actions and sovereignty, and declares fault. If we are not willing to concede this has been our heart at sometimes, we have only to look at the Scriptures which say it for us. “All day long I have been stricken and rebuked every morning,” says the Psalmist, blaming God.[1] But this is a very slippery place to be, and we are asking for a hard fall.[2] We can see why God in his wisdom commanded his people, whom he loved, “you shall not covet.”[3] And Jesus said, “judge not, that you be not judged.”[4].
It seems to make sense that the Apostle Paul coupled the problem of boasting alongside envy. It is possible that when our hearts are captured by envy, we no longer feel God’s love and acceptance, and therefore make efforts to secure it on our own. “Dissatisfied with their own place and opportunities, they compete for more room, or honor, or recognition.”[5] Feeling “less than” we exaggerate our value and worth to others. We boast of our accomplishments, our possessions, our popularity and happiness. Vanity of this sort is also self-centered, esteeming oneself more than others, with little regard for God’s estimation or opinion.
In both cases of envy and boasting, we can conclude that such a soul has a very little sense of his identity before God – loved and accepted as they are, gifted with unique traits, valuable and commissioned in God’s kingdom for a specific purpose. Conversely, the one who does not envy or boast is a picture of “a person who is moved and filled with the love of God… In the love of God, there is no place for asserting our rights, despising our gifts, envying our brothers and sisters, or treating them insensitively and boorishly.” [6] The Apostle Paul gives us a beautiful example of how the love of God can eclipse all other desires and motives except to “gain Christ and be found in him.”[7]
Only the love of God can fill the heart so fully that there is never a sense of inadequacy or want, but only love –love for others – even and especially in their successes and happiness, love for self – for the place, experiences and opportunities in which God has placed one, even in the face of failure, and love for God – who has accepted us into his loving arms.
Jesus, my Savior,
my Redeemer, my brother and friend,
Your presence and favor in my life far exceed all my worldly expectations of how my life should be. Whatever I consider a loss is nothing
compared to the sweetness of your Presence and the faithfulness of your love.
Help me see the truth about your provision, your love and your acceptance for me.
Help me to see that all my desires are fulfilled in you.
Lord, when I feel inadequate, come to me and set my heart straight.
Fill my need with yourself.
With your truth and love, let me love others.
Let me love them with a heart that does not look at the outside but the inside.
Let me love them like you do.
Let me never boast except in being your child -lavished with your goodness and love,
well-cared for, highly favored, with access to the foot of your throne.
Oh Lord, help us to see what we really have.
In your name I pray.
This is an excerpt from my new Bible Study called LOVE IS. If you would like to learn more, or participate independently online, click here: https://elizabethheadblack.com/love-is-study/.
[1] Psalm 73:14
[2] Psalm 73:2
[3] Exodus 20:17
[4] Matthew 7:1
[5] Prior, p. 230
[6] Prior, p.231
[7] Philippians 3:4-9