Love is patient… 1 Corinthians 13:4
The concept of patience often has a mild, even mediocre reputation. Like vanilla ice cream, we think of it as good but not all that exciting. Patience personified might look like a wimpled nun, clasping her hands in prayer – quiet, elderly and wise. Sometimes patience is seen as a placidity that is easily abused, taken advantage of or walked over. Patience, as an asset, is calm and steady and slow to overreact, yes, but much stronger and controlled than it is credited. I have a growing admiration for the underestimated virtue of patience.
In a culture that affirms strength, health and success, it seems patience is most required for those who display the opposite. We are most called upon to exercise patience with those who are weak, suffering, out of sorts, angry, hurt, tired, struggling, or wounded. Patience is required when a person is not exhibiting their “A” game. And this happens to all of us, all the time. We need patience shown to us, as much as we need to show it to other – if we are to live together in peace.
There are several factors that seem to play a role in patience. Strength, time and restraint are three that come to mind. To respond to the broken and hurting, an inner strength is required. Patience requires us to be stronger than the brokenness in front of us, though it is difficult to discern sometimes. Patience requires that we stand face to face with weakness (of any sort – physical, emotional, mental, idiosyncratic – whatever the nature of it) and be willing not to back down or turn away or reject it. This attitude is one of strength.
What amount of patience we may be able to demonstrate in short spurts is often exhausted over extended periods of time. So, time is also a facet of patience, and time is always in control. We wait for change and can be frustrated that it doesn’t happen in the time frame we allotted. Did we give it day? Did we give it month? “How long” is the ancient cry, voicing our lament that we cannot make time go any faster to bring change. Our patience is tested by time. Therefore, patience requires letting go of outcomes, agendas and expectations. In patience we must submit to time.
Finally, patience requires a certain amount of restraint. What if we said patience is restrained power? The power of our words, restrained. The power of our will, restrained. The power of our emotions, restrained. The power of our physical force, restrained. All of this is required in patience, and, as we are learning, in love. Patience means we limit ourselves so another may benefit or flourish.
Strength and restrained power that submits to time… sounds enormously like God’s work in the world and with his people. The God who stepped into time, limited himself for the benefit of the people, and faced broken humanity face to face, is the patient God that has loved us with a long-suffering love – never leaving, never forsaking us. What we so need and have received, He says we must show to another.
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk
in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,
with all humility and gentleness, with patience,
bearing with one another in love,
eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Ephesians 4:1-3
This is an excerpt from my new Bible Study called LOVE IS. If you would like to learn more, or participate online, click here: https://elizabethheadblack.com/love-is-study/.